Thursday, 3 February 2011

January Transfer Roundup: Conversation Style

Oguchi Onyewu (AC Milan) loan to Twente
Milan fan: "What? has he even played yet?"
Neutral: "No, I dont think so. He's got a great physique, sad for him not to play much."
Milan fan: "I know! Why didn't Twente sign (Daniele) Bonera instead?! We'd rather have him out!"
Neutral: "Well even Twente knows he's crap, thats why they've taken Onyewu instead!"

Edin Dzeko (VFL Wolfsburg) £27M move to Man City
Neutral: "Okay he's great, and a fair amount of money considering his talent. But don't they have 5 strikers already?"
Man City fan: "Yeah; Tevez, Adebayor, Balotelli, Jo, and Santa Cruz. Sadly we only play 1 up front."
Neutral: "Thats their problem! What a waste though... unless you sell 2 or 3 of your strikers everything will be fine..."

Roque Santa Cruz & Emmanuel Adebayor (both Man City) loan to Blackburn Rovers & Real Madrid respectively

Man City fan: "We've just sent 2 of our strikers on loan. Is that enough for you? now they can be happy with their respective clubs."
Neutral: "Unless if Dzeko does become signing of the season and they flop in their new clubs then great move, Arabs!"

Darren Bent (from Sunderland) £24M to Aston Villa
Neutral: "Ain't that too much for someone of Bent's calibre?"
Sunderland fan: "Well if James Milner costed as much then I say hes a bargain... yet why would he want to play for Villa? Sunderland's doing better than them!"
Villa fan: "I don't care how much we paid at least we got someone better than Emile Heskey!"
Neutral: "And another overrated England player goes on the list..."

Steven Pienaar (From Everton) £3M to Tottenham Hotspur
Spurs fan: "I can't believe we got someone who was almost certain to move to a team like Chelsea!"
Neutral: "Yeah but I can't see how Pienaar would improve the squad. They've got enough players in and across midfield anyway. He ain't bad, but I can name about 4 players similar type to him who are better than him in this very squad!"
Spurs fan: "Come to think of it, we actually didn't need Pienaar here... but we'll see what will he offer."

Ryan Babel (from Liverpool) £6M to Hoffenheim
Liverpool fan: "Hoffenheim? What kind of team is that?"
Neutral: "Thats an uprising club in Germany. It would do him great after being underplayed at Anfield where he will go straight into the first team."
Liverpool fan: "I wish he'd stayed, David Ngog is absolutely horrible and I can't believe Hodgson put him over Babel! I hope now he's happy and can tweet more often..."

Antonio Cassano (from Sampdoria) free to AC Milan
Neutral: "Wasn't he supposed to move to Juve?"
Juventus fan: "Naah we don't need a troublemaker, besides I think we're going to sign Toni"
Milan fan: "Cassano over Toni anyday! Great signing in Rossoneri's eyes."

Luca Toni (from Genoa) loan move to Juventus
Juventus fan: "Screw this signing. Only 2 matches into his deal and already he gets a knee injury. Why didn't we sign Cassano in the first place?"
Milan fan: "I bet Cassano's glad he moved to the right team. LOL."

 Giampaolo Pazzini (from Sampdoria) £10M + Jonathan Biabiany to Internazionale
Neutral: "Both of Sampdoria's strikers both has left for teams in Milan. But nice signing for Inter! Finally an Italian striker since Christian Vieri would play up front for them."
Inter fan: "He could be our savior! When Milito and Eto'o aren't cutting it, he'll be there! AC Milan, here we come~"

Ibrahim Afellay (from PSV) £3M to FC Barcelona
Neutral: "I've seen him play at PSV and for only 3 Milli hes a real bargain!"
Barca fan: "He will definitely improve an already squad!"
Neutral: "Really? I don't know how will he play because Mascherano can't seem to take Busquets place. Everyone know Mascherano is better than him!"
Barca fan: "Well Afellay can play in Xavi's position or even Iniesta's. You'll just have to believe someone of his talent and age can only improve in time. And don't be hating on Busquets..."
Neutral: "LOL sorry I forgot he's a world champion though!"

Mark van Bommel (from Bayern Munich) &a Nicola Legrottaglie (from Juventus) both free to AC Milan
Milan fan: "Great players with great experience and we didn't spend a penny. Just what we needed though... but why sign old players like them?
Neutral: "They are only contracted until the end of this season so if they're crap Milan wont extend their contracts. Besides they're still too young to join Milan..."
Milan fan: "Very funny my friend."

 Andrea Barzagli (from Wolfsburg) £250K to Juventus
Neutral: "I thought they needed a striker. Why would they sign another defender?"
Juventus fan: "Even I'm not pleased. I respect Barzagli and think he's awesome, but we need a striker more than another defender!"
Neutral: "I bet refusing Cassano is still a mistake isn't it :D"
Juventus fan: "I know! I think it's goodbye Champions League..."

Luis Suarez (from Ajax) £27M to Liverpool
Liverpool fan: "Yeah! finally we have someone to duet with Torres up front! Ngog is certainly not good enough... He will change our season around!"
Neutral: "But have you heard Torres is pushing for a move to Chelsea?"
Liverpool fan: "What?!!"

Fernando Torres (from Liverpool) £50M to Chelsea
Chelsea fan: "Finally we have a caucasian striker who is actually good!"
Liverpool fan: "Damn Torres, how could you leave us in the worst ever situation?!"
Neutral: "Hey at least you have enough money to buy a new striker, right Liverpool fan?"
Liverpool fan: "But who?!"
Neutral: "Just wait a for couple of hours before the window ends..."

Andy Carroll (from Newcastle) £35M to Liverpool
Liverpool fan: "Wow! Great signing, Kenny! He's a talent and I know he can help us forget about Torres!"
Neutral: "Yeah but the money's ridiculous. 35M? That means hes more expensive than David Villa, Carlos Tevez, Karim Benzema, Wayne Rooney, even his new teammate Luis Suarez for Christ sake!"
Newcastle fan: "Poor management though from (Newcastle owner) Mike Ashley. I can't believe the club allowed him to leave!"
Neutral: "I say this was a good piece of management though. Newcastle actually made Liverpool buy a player with only 4 months of Premier League experience... who is actually injured at the time he was signed!"
Liverpool fan: "Blablabla and your criticism, he'll be a great signing and you will want to take your words back!

End. Which of these conversations most intrigued you?

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