2013 January Transfer round-up: Conversation Style

I made a similar version of it 2 years ago. I had fun writing it last time, I just wanted to do it again. I didnt do one last year because there weren't many transfers going on last January.

I'm not really good at intros, but here is a round up of the biggest transfers this January in a conversation style.

Demba Ba (from Newcastle) £7M to Chelsea

Newcastle fan: "How could you?? I mean, how could Newcastle let their star striker go... AGAIN?"

Chelsea fan: "Finally!! A striker that can actually score goals..."

Neutral: "Aren't you forgetting Sturridge is pretty decent?"

Chelsea fan: "If he passed the ball more often now and again, then yeah. But I'd rather see him leave."

Daniel Sturridge (from Chelsea) £13.5M to Liverpool

Chelsea fan: "HAH. A young English player signs for Liverpool with an overpriced fee. How new."

Neutral: "I actually think he might be one of the few ones in the last few years that may succeed at Anfield."

Liverpool fan: "Of course he will! With Suarez, Sturridge, and Borini up front, and Sterling being more experienced... Next year will definitely be ours!"

Neutral: "Here we go again..."

Bebe (from Manchester United) loan to Rio Ave

United fan: "Wait... he still plays for us?"

Neutral: " Well not anymore... he just scored on his debut for Rio Ave. Ain't that something you don't see everyday?"

United fan: "Hey, flop or not, at least he has more Premier League medals than Gerrard does lol."

Maroune Chamakh (from Arsenal) loan to West Ham

West Ham fan: "Oh God, why us?? We have Carroll and Chamakh in the same team. Can't get any worse than that..."

Neutral: "Oh you just wait and see who's coming in now."

Joe Cole (from Liverpool) free to West Ham

West Ham fan: "Really? He surely has already past his best. What is Big Sam doing?"

Neutral: "Cheer up, lad. I actually think him coming back to Hammers could spark better form. At least you didn't get Downing."

West Ham fan: "Let's hope so. He's better than Downing I guess."

Ezekiel Fryers (from Standard Liege) £6M to Spurs

United fan: "Wait, I thought he moved there last summer?"

Spurs fan: "No he didn't he moved to Liege instead. He's homesick now so we offered him a trip back. Besides, we're lacking at left-back anyways."

Lewis Holtby (from Schalke) free to Spurs. Set to join in July.

Neutral: "I certainly did not see this one coming. Getting someone like him on a free?? His name had Everton or Arsenal written all over him. What a bargain."

Spurs fan: "I can't believe it myself. But aren't we crowded in midfield now anyway?"

Neutral: "I'm sure he's better than Livermore, Parker, Huddlestone, Sandro anyway. If you got him like immediately, St. Totteringhams Day won't happen this year."

Spurs fan: "Haha, I do hope it won't happen this year. We are doing great, but i reckon Holtby would definitely improve this squad. Can't wait to July."

Giuseppe Rossi (from Villarreal) €10M to Fiorentina

Neutral: "Isn't he still injured?"

Fiorentina fan: "Yeah, he is. A big gamble for someone who hasn't played any football for over a year."

Neutral: "When was his last game?"

Fiorentina fan: "More than a year I suppose? Italy could really used his help in the last Euros you know. I'm not sure he'll be as good as before his injury woes. But here's me crossing my fingers for good luck."

Alexandre Pato (from AC Milan) €15M to Corinthians

Milan fan: "It was probably best for everyone. Hate to see a great talent go to waste because of injuries galore. And when he was fit, he always look like a shadow of his past self."

Neutral: "I know, but aren't they going to find a new striker to replace him?"

Milan fan: "I'm not sure, we'll see at the end of the transfer window."

Mathieu Debuchy (from Lille), Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa (from Montpellier), Yoann Gouffran (from Bordeaux), Massadio Haidara (from Nancy), and Moussa Sissoko (from Toulouse) combined fee of £18M to Newcastle.

Neutral: "Holy shhht those are a lot of players from France. Has Alan Pardew taken advice from Arsene Wenger or some sort?"

Newcastle fan: "They are actually good players. Debuchy played for France in the Euros, Yanga-Mbiwa won Ligue 1 last year, and Gouffran & Sissoko are monsters on FM so I'm quite familiar. Not really sure of Haidara though, never seen him play."

Neutral: "Yeah but why French players??"

Newcastle fan: "Because we can? We still got some of that Carroll money. And buy the way, turns out selling Carroll was the best thing Mike Ashley has done financially. I've eaten my words from 2 years back."

Neutral: "But aren't you disappointed you didn't sign Loic Remy?"

Loic Remy (from Marseille) £8M to QPR

Newcastle fan: "Yeah, I'm generally let down by it. But Gouffran isn't that bad either. Jonas & Ben Arfa coming back in, Sissoko, Cabaye and Tiote in the middle... I just hope our fortunes become better."

Yann M'Vila (from Rennes) £9.6M to Rubin Kazan

Neutral: "Just 6 months ago, he was chased by Arsenal and Spurs to name a few. Now he left Rennes as an outcast for his behavior outside the club."

Arsenal fan: "Yeah, turns out he isn't much of a professional and actually I'm glad he didn't sign for us last summer. Monsieur Arsene certainly knows best."

Nuri Sahin (from Real Madrid) back from Liverpool, loan to Dortmund

Liverpool fan: "Thank God he's out. Barely even looked like any of the hype around him 2 years ago."
Madrid fan: "I know, how could a player like him be behind a team with Shelvey and Henderson is beyond me."
Neutral: "Well at least now Dortmund has their star player back for free after selling for a ton load of money. That's business right there."

Wesley Sneijder (from Inter) €7.5M to Galatarasay

Liverpool fan: "Really?? Rather than playing in the BPL, he picks Turkey over us? Must be the money."

Neutral: "Why are you so delusional? Gala is still in the Champions League, top of the Turkish league, and if you're talking about fans of the club, they have a better local fanbase than they have at Anfield. It's not always about the money."

United fan: "Really? Tell him that 2 years ago..."

Nicolas Anelka and Didier Drogba (both Shanghai Shenhua) loan to Juventus and free to Galatasary, respectively

Chelsea fan: "What? They got bored in China?"

Neutral: "I guess. Despite having Drogba and Anelka up front, they only managed a mid-table finish in an obscure Chinese League."

Chelsea fan: "Really? I can see why they left now."

Juventus fan: "Besides, we at least have a better striker up front now."

Neutral: "Thats what you said last time with Bendtner... and Matri... and Amauri."

Juventus fan: "You'll see! We're going to win it again!"

Lewis Holtby (from Schalke) £1.5M to Spurs, immediate permanent.

Neutral: "Getting for free for next season is already amazing... but getting him now? With 5% of what Andy Carroll cost is amazing business!"

Spurs fan: "Well, we had to do it with Sandro out for the season. But I can't stress out how important for Spurs to get a striker now than another midfielder. We're more packed than the Gooners in midfield..."

Neutral: "Don't worry. You'll secure 4th place now this time above Arsenal lol."

Emmanuel Frimpong (from Arsenal) loan to Fulham

Neutral: "I seriously have no opinion on this loan deal. So let's LEAVE IT YEAAAAH."

Arsenal fan: "Dude, that was not Dench at all..."

Neutral: "... I'll get my coat. Where's the cab?"

Diego Lopez (from Sevilla) €3.5M to Real Madrid

Madrid fan: "Phew... so relieved at least when Casillas is injured, we have someone more than capable to step in his gloves."

Neutral: "Agreed. And Lopez being a Castilla trainee and Casillas' understudy for years puts a little more incentive to it, don't you think?"

Madrid fan: "Of course it does. It's a shame Adan won't get a look in to the team anymore with this signing."

Cristian Zaccardo (from Parma) and Djamel Mesbah (from AC Milan) swap deal

Milan fan: "Zaccardo being a World Cup winner and all is pretty good. But we need a striker for Christ sake."

Mario Balotelli (from Man City) €20M to AC Milan

Milan fan: "Much better. Now we have someone to play El Shaarawy with, we will be back in the top 3 in no time."
Neutral: "Aren't you even a little bit worried with Balotelli's attitude though? He does have quite a reputation."
City fan: "Yeah, even I'm happy he's gone. Only 1 goal this season for a player who shone at the Euro's is really disappointing."
Milan fan: "#YOLO"

Vegard Forren (from Molde) £4M to Southampton

Liverpool fan: "What? he was having a trial at Liverpool! And he left us just like that?"

United fan: "Hah! You know he was advised to move to Southampton rather than Liverpool by his manager back at Molde?"

Neutral: "Oh yeah? Whose the manager?"

United fan: "Just the one and only Ole Gunnar Solksjaer! Forren made the wise choice hahaha"

Liverpool fan: "I hate him so much right now..."

Federico Macheda (from Manchester United) loan to Stuttgart

Neutral: "Gosh, what happened to him?"

United fan: "He went on loan to a few clubs but they always sacked their manager afterwards and he was always out of favor with his newer managers. When he came back to United, he always managed to put in a great pre-season but with an attack line-up United has, it's impossible to get a look in."

Neutral: "Well, are you happy with this loan deal?"

United fan: "I'm not sure. I mean it's good he has a better chance of first team football, but it's sad to see another talent wasted."

Phillipe Coutinho (from Inter) £8M to Liverpool

Liverpool fan: "See! With Gerrard, Suarez, Sterling, Sturridge, and now him... I know it's too late for a push this year, but next year will definitely be our year!!"
Neutral: "Enough! We know he's good. But the thing here is that they sold 2 of their most creative players this window and in no sign of replacing them. And didn't Stramaccioni he wanted to focus on youngsters?"
Inter fan: "He did. And Coutinho is like the one of our best young players. I think it's not a good move from Inter's POV. But yeah, he didn't get enough game time, so I can see why he left."

Yun Suk-Young (from Chunma Dragons) undisclosed fee to QPR

Neutral: "... I'm sorry, who?"

Chris Samba (from Anzhi) £12.5M to QPR

Neutral: "Well I know him! With Ryan Nelsen leaving to coach in the MLS, having a way better defender is definitely going to help Harry's side. He is definitely what Harry would say, 'a top, top, t'riffic player' in Samba."

Jack Butland (from Birmingham) £3.75M to Stoke, loaned back until the end of the season.

Neutral: "Did you know that Birmingham's goalkeeping coach said he was the best goalkeeper he has ever worked with?"
Chelsea fan: "What does that imply?"
Neutral: "He has worked with Joe Hart AND Ben Foster in the past. And by saying Butland's better than both of them is quite a compliment. He will challenge Joe Hart for the England spot for years to come."

Chelsea fan: "He could've moved to us when he had the chance. We offered him earlier!"
Neutral: "Dude, you got Cech. You also got that Belgian kid on loan at Atletico. Butland is smarter than that..."

Heurelho Gomes (from Spurs) loan to Hoffenheim

Neutral: "Wait... he's still with Spurs?"
Spurs fan: "Well now he isn't."
Neutral: "What was he like... fourth choice in goal all season? That's just sad for him. He isn't THAT bad..."
Spurs fan: "He isn't! He's just unlucky. But we won't miss him THAT much."

Ezequiel Schelotto (from Atalanta) €3M to Inter

Inter fan: "Well, not someone you would expect to replace Sneijder and Coutinho though. I mean he did last year, but not so good this season."
Neutral: "At least you got him on the cheap, yes?"
Inter fan: "I guess. We're only 6 points off of Juve, I just hope this Schelotto dude to be a bargain. and help us catch them."

Nacho Monreal (from Malaga) £9M to Arsenal

Neutral: "Why do I have a sudden craving of Doritos?"
Arsenal fan: "I'm happy at least Wenger DIPPED in the transfer window."
Neutral: "That is horrible. At least you couldve made a Nacho Libre reference instead?"
Arsenal fan: "Sorry... just stoked that we don't need to see Andre Santos at left back again!"
Neutral: "I forgot to ask you, what actually IS Andre Santos' best position?"
Arsenal fan: "He is best LBH?"
Neutral: "LBH?"
Arsenal fan: "Yep. Left-Back-Home"
Neutral: "That's a better joke lol"

David Beckham (from Los Angeles Galaxy) free to PSG

(saved the biggest transfer for the last :D)

United fan: "Man, we wanted him to go back to England. And it didn't have to be Manchester United though."
Neutral: "Tbf, he was more interested in the city he'll be moving to. He's lived in Madrid, LA, Milan, and trained every winter in London. Of course Paris was going to be his new club."
United fan: "Yeah, I just hope he kicks Barton's ass back in France and all the money he gets will be worth it."
Neutral: "But all of his wages are going to charity. Did you not know that?"
United fan: "Really? What a gentleman. Rarely we see these days a good looking man with a good heart as well."

End. Finally, those were the transfers that mattered to me the most. Imagine what would happen if Odemwingie and Diame actually moved. Which of these conversations were the most interesting?

My Euro 2012 Team of the Tournament

Every football fan in the world has gone through 3 weeks of entertainment mayhem with what we have witnessed what happened in Poland and Ukraine. UEFA EURO 2012 has now ended and will have to fill in the rest of our summers with something else to do than watch 16 teams kicking about a leathery spherical figure. 

We saw the surprising, the disappointing, and the inevitable. We saw how Netherlands and Russia bowed out of the tournament prematurely, with co-hosts Ukraine and Poland also just as disappointing. But we also saw how England managed to win a group they were predicted to finish bottom in, Italy beating pre-tournament favorites Germany in the semifinals, and how Denmark didn't become the whipping boys out of the 'Group of Death'.

But the inevitable events just had to happen. France fail to show up, Ireland going home with no points, and most importantly Spain defending their title with a 4-0 thrashing of Italy in the Final. We just knew those things were going to happen.

There were lots of players who showed what they were worth, but below are 11 players who stood out the most for me in every position. I will use a 4-2-3-1 formation since that formation was the most used by the teams this summer.

Goalkeeper: Iker Casillas (Spain)

Saint Iker only conceded once throughout the tournament and he should be lauded for his impressive performance between the sticks. Spain's captain's inclusion was given a run for his money in this team by Italy's Gianluigi Buffon and England's Joe Hart, but Casillas was able to lead this side to 3 straight tournament victories and of course he played a big part of each of it.

Rightback: Glen Johnson (England)

To be honest, I was very skeptical of his inclusion after Kyle Walker injured himself and Micah Richards getting snubbed. His performances for Liverpool have declined but from all of the players in the England squad, he proved me wrong the most. He was far better in defending than I have ever seen him play ever. His inclusion above Portugal's Joao Pereira and Czech's Theodore Gebre Selassie in this team speaks volume on how I was surprised of how he performed.

Centreback: Sergio Ramos (Spain)

Cutting off his hair wasn't the only brilliant decision he made this summer. That chipped penalty in the semifinal shootout against Portugal silenced his critics since Real Madrid's Champions League semifinal exit. He did his defensive duties brilliantly despite being put of his normal right-back position for Spain.

Centreback: Mats Hummels (Germany)

Despite criticism early on his international career, his elegance in the center of Germany's defence helped the nation's cause. Pundits and fans alike were impressed by Hummels' performances even after a bad game against Italy where he was at fault in at least one of the goals conceded. Hope he bounces back from that semifinal outing.

Leftback: Jordi Alba (Spain)

Most analysts claimed this position were Spain's weak link for ages, but I myself certainly did not see that. I only managed to see him play a handful of times for Valencia and he wasn't that bad, but he certainly played way better for Spain and his move (back) to Barcelona doesn't look out of place. Due to Spain's formation of no strikers, everyone got a chance to attack and Alba took his in the final to score Spain's second of the game. I easily could have put either Germany's Phillipe Lahm or Portugal's Fabio Coentrao but Jordi here was something special. Barcelona next season would be frightening with him and Dani Alves bombing down the wings. *shivers*

Centremidfield: Andrea Pirlo (Italy)

During the Euro's, 70% of the male population would have experienced a man-crush towards Pirlo. At the age 33, his game is comparable to fine wine - becomes better with age. His assist for Di Natale in the opening match, his freak-kick scored against Croatia and a Panenka-esque penalty against England were only some of us men's reasons to fall for his skills. When someone gets mentioned in a dreamteam ahead of Xavi and Xabi Alonso, you know you've won loads of admirers.

Centremidfield: Sami Khedira (Germany)

I have never seen Sami Khedira play bad ever. In every game I've seen him play for Germany since the 2010 World Cup, he is always brilliant. It could be because he is one of the most consistent players in the tournament or because I rarely watch Real Madrid play. Either way, he definitely merits his inclusion in this team ahead of Steven Gerrard and his goal against Greece in the quarterfinals just sealed the deal.

Right Attacking Midfielder: Andres Iniesta (Spain)

Slightly cheating here on his position in this team because he didn't really play on the right for his country. Andres-Cesc-Silva switched places occasionally during the match so it was a bit hard to slot one of them in this team, but I decided to go with Iniesta for his pass for Cesc in the final that actually set up Silva. He was also named Player of the Tournament and deservedly so.

Centre Attacking Midfielder: Mesut Ozil (Germany)

Again, his inclusion was difficult due to challangers in the form of Cesc and Silva. The reason why I chose Ozil was for his vision in how he covered for Schweinsteiger's mediocre form in the knockout stages. 3 assists in the tournament added by a ruthless taken penalty against Italy in at the end of the game. He's only 23, I can't imagine how good he will be when he reaches his peak.

Left Attacking Midfielder: Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal)

I had this position reserved specially for him. His appointment of being made captain may raise a few eyebrows and his hairstyle changes may confuse a few stylists as well. But he did carry the team to semifinals albeit not on his own. Scoring twice in an important match against Netherlands showed the critics who said he couldn't perform during the big games were wrong. Even though he only manage to score 3 goals, he was Portugal's main goalscoring threat and he did it well considering Portugal doesn't have a well developed striker in their ranks.

Striker: Mario Balotelli (Italy)

What? No Torres? Yeah, No Fernando in this team. Sure he got the Golden Boot (which he totally deserved by the way), but all his goals came in 4-0 thrashings of Ireland and Italy. And with Spain usually not playing a striker should put his place in this team into huge consideration

Mario Balotelli also only scored 3 goals but all of his goals were worldclass and looked consistent throughout the tournament. A no-look volley against Ireland, a bullet header from close range against Germany, and a top corner finish also against Deutschland displayed he was the best. Mario Gomez didn't cut it in this team, he was good in 2 games and then came back into his normal international form. I could just wonder if only Zlatan Ibrahimovic's Sweden and Nicklas Bendtner's Denmark got through the group stages...

SOOOOOOOOOO this was my team. Thanks for reading. I now you may have other opinions but this is my blog, so I'll write what I want.